Tammy Wynette - Singing My Song

tammy wynette stand by your man

When I Was a Baby I Spoke Like One,Now I'm Older I want to Speak What's on My Mind.

Words have gotten in the way all of my life,when I'm to  speak I don't, when I  shouldn't I do. Now I want to,but the audience are not the same.They  sometimes get the whip lash of  words they don't deserve.


 Words My Friend My Foe

Words my friend, my foe 
where are you when I need you,
healing words,
that say I love you,
thank you,
inspiring words,
words that make me laugh,
words that make me who I am.

Words I'll never forget,
you're beautiful,
you're the best thing that ever happened to me,
you're a friend indeed.
You won't come  off my mind,
Words my friend, my foe
you're buried too deep.



I think you're perfect but you're not,
you're silent when you ought to speak'
Words you hold back,
Leaving a message so unclear,
That causes others to assume.
Words my friend, my foe
Speak for me,
Let the world hear you the way they should.



I love you, hate you
What can I do with out you.
You can  help me to see where I' m going,
Say what I'm feeling.
Who can say  you are only words,
You sting like a bee,
There is never a dull moment with you.
Words my friend, my foe
Thanks, for flowing. 

Day 1 1/9/10 Count Down Begins -Get Organise

I Desire  A Clutter Free Life.

Even though I started each day with a to do list, I used to be in a mess and full of confusion.I couldn't find pens, documents,keys you name it.This confusion caused lateness and I had to make excuses. Most organise people just do not have any empathy for people like me, we frustrate them.They  have every right to feel the way they do, they are always on time,they do what ever to finish assignments on schedule. They  flourish in life.  When my husband used to say, if I plan things would go better,I would get irritated because I did plan.  He can't dwell in untidiness,and gets upset if anyone enters the home with shoes on.With me it is different,a place that is  clean from germs,but a liitle choas won't kill us.We quarrelled  for a piece of tissue paper on the floor, clothing, toys etc.He always  say I do not have to general clean everyday.My belief was we are living in the house so it will get dirty,  just clean and do not argue about it. His way is to  put back,do not let crumbs fall,wipe little spots as you go and  general clean weekends.He cleans up very fast too.I am always rearranging,cleaning and packing, filing  bills and statements . I  even researched how to  organise bathroom, living room, bedroom,kitchen etc . I would start but  return to my old ways .


Clutter and  organising are  enemies, I think I understand how easy it is to get to the stage of  compulsive hoarding.Thank God for my parents and husband, who can clean up, throw and give away in a flash.Who do not like people to walk into their home with shoes on.They have pushed,and fought with me to  get rid of stuff. My husband would glance at a page, roll it up and throw it in bin. A friend of mind gives away her bags, clothes and shoes every year and replaces them.She is not rich or has plenty clothes.I just could not do that, looking back to when I was a teenager I had a high cut, cotton, green  under ware, it fitted just right,it was faded, the crotch disappeared and  so I made another.I am what we commonly call a pack rat.



Pack rats everywhere are having a ball,with the go green drive, for the environment.It is very good to make the three Rs, reuse,reduce and recycle , a part of our everyday lives, but remember we must  use within a certain time. If we don't, it becomes  clutter and the environment will not benefit.The longer we hold on to stuff, the more we get attached.Many  think hoarders are just nasty,lazy and crazy people.Some hoarders even despise other hoarders, I think all hoarders have an  incredible amount of creativity,sensitivity and tenderness but sad to say these become lost due to obsession. Compulsive hoarders do not have control over things, they bond with them.This super bond  consumes them and they loose sight of themselves.I still have a barrel I put plastics bags, and now paper bags I get from grocery shopping. I tried to get into taking my own bags and the people look at me as if I am crazy, my husband too.I have to let go of them too, I just can not use them up fast enough.

Watch out for these  excuses we make, not enough storage,space,have to buy more clothes because of too little time for laundry,have to get a bigger house, this was gift from so and so,those are my children's baby things,it is still good to use,this is too expensive to give away or throw away and there is a story for everything .To heal, I have to learn to reason and let go. It is feels  great to be free from this type of bondage but it didn't  start over night,it will take time ,and it takes work.   


I no longer want  to see a lot around me. I want an organised home, that speaks peace.I am leaning more  to a minimalist life style,this kind of  designed house really specks elegance for me these days. To get there  I have established some areas that I always need to attend to such as  laundry and fridge.Laundry is now taken care of as it fills the laundry basket and I sort as I go.Sometimes I'd do a load a day or every other day, it depends. I do not allowed laundry to overwhelm me anymore,we fold and put away  as soon as they are dried.I allow my children to help too.I do not have to do everything.Delegating is helping me a lot, I have to remember I have love ones who are willing to help but only when asked. Ah!.The fridge is another clutter area,I plan meals with what I have on hand and only buy for menus planed. I waste less,left overs are turned into stew or soup.Plate scraps I feed to the fish in a canal behind me. I try not to cook too much, but my husband eats  seconds.  I am now  able to throw out at least five things everyday, other than kitchen waste.I think this is  a very good therapy for hoarders, look for things to to give away or just throw away.Keys I put them one place every time, paper is still a big issue for me. Bills,statements and receipts those on filed I need to keep within a time fame to throw out when necessary.Used books with pages missing, used envelopes with my To Do List I have to do the same. I am still  afraid, I will need them sometime.I am presently working on the motto less paper, more work.My children are  shaking out and giving away clothes,toys etc. They do not have plenty that should be a breeze eh,but it isn't for pack rats.


If for nothing else, we must fix this behaviour of storing things for our children, we  pass it on to them.My husband and other organised people I do not call neat freaks anymore.I used to but not to their face.Now I just want to embrace the power of organising. An organised  home really keeps the head clear and reduces stress.The way forward for us is a clutter free life.

My To Do List Habit

I  am a to do list person, I write them and have them all over my house. I write them everyday, ......every year. My lists are always the same at the top  wake early for  prayer and meditation.They are long, they include what to do at home,what to buy,menus for the week with grocery list and at what to do at  work and for sex too.Often times I end up working late at nights. Any me time is when everyone is in bed.Sometimes I  forget my lists, but writing them down helps me to remember.I make special ones too, those that deal with my goals.Over  the  years  I have   written my  30th,35th.....those things I did not do I put them onto the other lists.


 My 40th is soon to be here and I still have my 30s to do list to complete.I can not foreshadow what my life will be like, what I really want, I am getting a very hard time adjusting to change, yet I want change because I am changing.Some of  the changes are very scary. I  can not write my 40s to do list, here instead is my 30s spill over to do list, yet to be accomplished. Some  of these things are spritual and and they are repeated often.

Pray and meditate on The Holy Bible for answers I am still waiting for.


Give more to sharing what I know.


Get involved with giving of myself more to others than my family.


Listen more than talk.


Get organise.

Make another child, hopefully a son.


Buy a house for my mother.


Start a blog.


Master the missionary sex possition
 
Save for retirement and college


Conquer my fears of swiming and driving.


Conquer some recipes I always yo yo on, meaning one time I make them well next time they are spoil products.


Complete a diploma I have started but did not finish and aquire a degree in nutrition.


Loose 10 pounds of stubborn weight, now for the past seven months, it has increased to 35lbs, using Caribbean creole food (Guyanese style)


Drink two litres of water daily, eat healthy,exercise daily and  do regular health check ups.


Complete building and decorating where I live.


Start and grow dread locks.


Let beautiful me on the inside show on the outside(use simple home beauty routines for a better looking and feeling me).


Strive to and learn something new and do something for me everyday.


Sleep for me.


Let my husband really see me as the Miss Universe he married.


Dance everyday.


Remember always everyone has a right to change their mind including me.


Track my life goals and daily engagements and to do list.


Read voraciously to continue to learn and grow-eg History


Learn to speak and write Spanish and Portuguese